I have this habit of staring into the mirror and imagining my face, post-mordem, after some gruesome accident. I noticed this habit the other day, staring into my bedroom mirror after a shower, when i shocked myself with the grotesque face staring back at me. I have this notion that in my casket, at my wake, pple will see my face as it is without any of my self-concious posturing. My lips will be protrude as they do when I'm not noticing them, my chin will disappear as my jaw hangs limply into my neck, and by eyes will take on that unfocused dull sheen they have when half closed. I imagine that is how i normally look, half dead, to most pple when not primping myself in the looking glass.

I remember in art class, mebbe 5th grade, as Mrs. Blumenthal was giving an art history lecture, putting my head on the table and letting every muscle relax, convoluded and unforced in death. I kept my eyes half open as i had seen someone in a movie do after being shot dead in the head. And i sat there for half an hour, taking pleasure in the other kids puzzled looks, until the lecture was over. I dunno why that should be so much fun.